It is now a month into the new year and I have yet to finish this blog. Maybe it is because I know this is my last entry; that after this, things will change. Maybe it’s denial that my magical year in the bush is complete. Maybe I just don’t have the words to accurately describe the emotions I feel as I reflect on the last 12 months of my life.
So...December has faded into a chaotic blur of repeated goodbyes, last-minute holidays and hasty packing. Community Service has drawn to a close and I am now a completely independent, fully qualified occupational therapist. So where to from here?
As my friends and I travelled along a long winding road sometime in December, this very question rose its challenging head. “Where to from here?” We have grown. Our minds have been broadened. Our eyes have been opened. Our hearts have been warmed. We have changed. We are no longer the same.
I, for one, can recall how much God has worked to mould me into the person He wants me to become. He clearly loves me far too much to allow me to stay the same. He has broken down my pride, my selfish nature, my desire to be successful and precise in order to build me up in His strength, in His power. He has blessed my time at Manguzi and allowed me to see a whole new side of Him. He has poured out His love and provision on me this year like I have never experienced it before. He has answered all my prayers in spectacular fashion. He has given me strong friendships, growing experiences and overwhelming love. His love never fails.
This year God has taught me:
•To work in His strength, because trying to do things in my own is a complete disaster.
•To wait for His prompting – His timing is perfect.
•When to speak and when to keep silent.
•To have faith that He will provide. No matter what I needed, God has provided it in spectacular fashion.
•To allow Him to bless me – and wow, how wonderful it is to be blessed by the Maker of Heaven and Earth!
•To love generously and sacrificially, be gracious and judge not – behold Jesus and you will become like Him.
So, where to from here? As the car ride with my three friends continued, we discussed what this means for us. Surely we now have a responsibility to speak to those around us about our experiences?; to proclaim the good, the bad and the inspiring moments along our challenging journeys. With a new perspective and understanding of our world, and more particularly, our beloved country, we can no longer afford to keep silent on matters surrounding poverty, injustice, racism, classism, materialism and all the other bad –isms to which we have been exposed.
Yes, we are young, white, privileged females who have lived and worked in old, black, impoverished communities. The contrasts couldn’t be greater. But we have come out on the other side with insight that cannot be held within our hearts alone. We need to break the silence and share our stories with others. We may be different to the people with whom we have worked but now we know them: their histories, their families, their pain, and their stories. We are exposed to a reality much bigger than our own now. We cannot keep silent.
There have been countless moments this year when I am bursting with emotion, with inspiration, with knowledge and skills that I can't help but want to use it to better this already incredible country. While there are so many reasons for people to hate South Africa, there are far more reasons to love her; to be moved to be a part of her change rather than ignore it or complain about it. Our country is young, wild and completely crazy but wouldn’t you rather be a part of the chaos than sit on the sidelines and worry about tomorrow?
With the move to Middelburg, Mpumalange, to follow my fiance’, I have got a job working in the local provincial hospital. What was once a strong, thriving hospital has become a shell of what it used to be. Having worked in a rural area, dilapidated buildings, apathetic workers and tough cases come as no new concern to me. What does concern me is people’s reaction to my choice of employment in the run-down hospital. Words such as, “Why?” or “Shame!” have escaped from many people’s mouth as I tell them my active choice of working there. Yes, I had other, easier opportunities for employment but no, that was not where God was leading me. He needs me right here, in the midst of incredible suffering and hardship. It seems that I now have larger, more abstract problems ahead of me compared to that of my rustic bush life last year. The blatant racism within my new privileged community hits me like a rock almost daily as I listen and observe people’s words and actions around me. I am still so unsure of how to react to these motions – with outright anger? with gentle challenging words? by my actions alone? It seems that these are the new challenges God has placed in my path so I head out on a new, greater adventure, with the knowledge and faith that my Lord goes before me and will equip me with all that I could ever need.
I will not keep silent. I am a part of a new generation. I am a soldier. I fight racism. I fight classism. I fight poverty, injustice and oppression. Grace has carried me this far and by Grace I will carry on.
I will end with this final inspiring thought:
December 16th – Reconciliation day. It seemed like an apt day to connect with Manguzi community members through the giving of 20 litre buckets of food and bags of stationary for the Christmas period. “Buckets and bags of love” is an initiative organised by my Bible study. With donations from all over the world, we managed to raise over R50 000 and hand out about 150 buckets and 150 bags to families in need. On the day, we partnered with local black Christians along with some of our European doctors to drive around and hand deliver buckets across the greater Manguzi area. I was brought to tears on many occupations as I watched impoverish gogo’s dance and clap with joy as they praised God for providing for their very basic needs. Their faith in the midst of such obvious hardship was moving to say the least. I was once again reminded of the call God put on my life for 2014 – just love them, Caryn. Here are a few photos taken on the day:
So...December has faded into a chaotic blur of repeated goodbyes, last-minute holidays and hasty packing. Community Service has drawn to a close and I am now a completely independent, fully qualified occupational therapist. So where to from here?
As my friends and I travelled along a long winding road sometime in December, this very question rose its challenging head. “Where to from here?” We have grown. Our minds have been broadened. Our eyes have been opened. Our hearts have been warmed. We have changed. We are no longer the same.
I, for one, can recall how much God has worked to mould me into the person He wants me to become. He clearly loves me far too much to allow me to stay the same. He has broken down my pride, my selfish nature, my desire to be successful and precise in order to build me up in His strength, in His power. He has blessed my time at Manguzi and allowed me to see a whole new side of Him. He has poured out His love and provision on me this year like I have never experienced it before. He has answered all my prayers in spectacular fashion. He has given me strong friendships, growing experiences and overwhelming love. His love never fails.
This year God has taught me:
•To work in His strength, because trying to do things in my own is a complete disaster.
•To wait for His prompting – His timing is perfect.
•When to speak and when to keep silent.
•To have faith that He will provide. No matter what I needed, God has provided it in spectacular fashion.
•To allow Him to bless me – and wow, how wonderful it is to be blessed by the Maker of Heaven and Earth!
•To love generously and sacrificially, be gracious and judge not – behold Jesus and you will become like Him.
So, where to from here? As the car ride with my three friends continued, we discussed what this means for us. Surely we now have a responsibility to speak to those around us about our experiences?; to proclaim the good, the bad and the inspiring moments along our challenging journeys. With a new perspective and understanding of our world, and more particularly, our beloved country, we can no longer afford to keep silent on matters surrounding poverty, injustice, racism, classism, materialism and all the other bad –isms to which we have been exposed.
Yes, we are young, white, privileged females who have lived and worked in old, black, impoverished communities. The contrasts couldn’t be greater. But we have come out on the other side with insight that cannot be held within our hearts alone. We need to break the silence and share our stories with others. We may be different to the people with whom we have worked but now we know them: their histories, their families, their pain, and their stories. We are exposed to a reality much bigger than our own now. We cannot keep silent.
There have been countless moments this year when I am bursting with emotion, with inspiration, with knowledge and skills that I can't help but want to use it to better this already incredible country. While there are so many reasons for people to hate South Africa, there are far more reasons to love her; to be moved to be a part of her change rather than ignore it or complain about it. Our country is young, wild and completely crazy but wouldn’t you rather be a part of the chaos than sit on the sidelines and worry about tomorrow?
With the move to Middelburg, Mpumalange, to follow my fiance’, I have got a job working in the local provincial hospital. What was once a strong, thriving hospital has become a shell of what it used to be. Having worked in a rural area, dilapidated buildings, apathetic workers and tough cases come as no new concern to me. What does concern me is people’s reaction to my choice of employment in the run-down hospital. Words such as, “Why?” or “Shame!” have escaped from many people’s mouth as I tell them my active choice of working there. Yes, I had other, easier opportunities for employment but no, that was not where God was leading me. He needs me right here, in the midst of incredible suffering and hardship. It seems that I now have larger, more abstract problems ahead of me compared to that of my rustic bush life last year. The blatant racism within my new privileged community hits me like a rock almost daily as I listen and observe people’s words and actions around me. I am still so unsure of how to react to these motions – with outright anger? with gentle challenging words? by my actions alone? It seems that these are the new challenges God has placed in my path so I head out on a new, greater adventure, with the knowledge and faith that my Lord goes before me and will equip me with all that I could ever need.
I will not keep silent. I am a part of a new generation. I am a soldier. I fight racism. I fight classism. I fight poverty, injustice and oppression. Grace has carried me this far and by Grace I will carry on.
I will end with this final inspiring thought:
Rejoice.... Not so much in victories as in the fact that God is leading them.
Praise... Not so much for His blessings as for His love that prompts them.
Serve.... Not for the ultimate or resent reward, but for the thrill of knowing that we labour together, that He stands beside you in every enterprise, however trivial.
December memories:
Other special December moments:
 |
| Therapy department's annual Christmas Party |
 |
| Val, a dietician from Swaziland, gave two of the therapy assistants Swazi flags for Christmas |
 |
| All hands on deck as a broken hospital car gets pushed around a local clinic in order to bring it back to life |
 |
| Photo shoot with ladies from the MDR ward after a fun Christmas party |
 |
| When we can't use our hands to paint we use our feet - the picture of a young CP child during stimulation group |
 |
| THE LUMINEERS! Attending yet another magical concert with some of my favourite people |
 |
| I was visited by Ross and Sarah - all the way from Cape Town this month! |
 |
| Enjoying the local Mozambican 'poison' at Ponto Malangane - R&Rs (Rum and Raspberry) |
 |
| The long but beautiful walk to Kosi Bay Mouth |
 |
| And so it ends. My year in the bush has been one unforgettable experience. Thank you for sharing many special moments with me. |
